Managers come in all shapes and sizes, as you know.  There’s not one consistent personality type that makes a great leader.  The same goes for employees, but companies and managers don’t always adapt their style to be able to better manage different types of employees.

Everyone hears the loud employees.  They’re the ones who have no problem expressing their ideas and opinions.  Typically, they’re more outgoing and have been referred to as extroverts.  They’re difficult to ignore.  The quieter employees, the introverts, may tend to fall into the background because they’re not making their voices heard in the same way as the extroverts.

Many managers, especially when swamped with work and responsibilities, tend to pay more attention to those making themselves heard.  By no means, does that mean that extroverts don’t have great ideas.  It just means that you’re missing out on hearing essential ideas, potential problems and issues if you’re not listening to your quieter employees as well.

So how do you make sure that you’re getting the ideas from introverts?

1)      Send a meeting agenda before the meeting.  If there are questions or topics that you’d like people to express opinions or recommendations about, let them know before the meeting.

2)      Ask quieter employees specifically about any ideas or comments they have.

3)      Give people time to absorb and think about the information before giving you an answer.

4)      Provide alternative methods for employees to express opinions and ideas instead of just having the meeting format.

5)      Have employees submit opinions, recommendations, and ideas to you before the meeting, so you can share and discuss them during the meeting without mentioning who provided them.

6)      Don’t judge.  Just because a person isn’t talking doesn’t mean they don’t have anything to talk about.

“There is zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas,” said Susan Cain, author of QUIET:  The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.  So make sure you’re also getting ideas from those who aren’t doing all the talking.

Additional Resources:  Check out Susan Cain’s TED talk video, The Power of Introverts.

You’re the manager and you’re having one of those days.  You just don’t feel like being at work today.  After all, you’re human.  Everyone has had a bad day before and will continue to have more in the future.  But in the role that you’re in, your actions and attitude can directly affect the people who work for you.

Don’t use your bad day as an excuse to treat people badly.  The bad day is not a good time to have a performance conversation or give feedback unless you can do so objectively.

It’s not the time to deliver a tough message to someone.  If your bad day has you seeing everything in a negative light, then you’re going to view small things as being much bigger and worse than they really are.  I had a manager who would have a bad day and would find someone on her team who had a messy desk, walk to the person’s desk, and demand that he or she clean it up immediately.  The messiness of the desk was always the same, but when this manager was in a bad mood, she wanted to take her anger out on someone.

Don’t let the positive perception that your team has of you be clouded with negativity just because your day is not going well.  It doesn’t mean that you have to shut yourself in your office all day, but focus on tasks that are not going to be emotional for you.  Think twice about feedback before giving it to someone.  Write it down and write a note for yourself to give the feedback the next day when you’re feeling better.

If your bad mood causes you to turn inward, it’ll be difficult to listen to someone else’s issues.  Reschedule important conversations if you’re not feeling that you can give your best.  If it’s obvious that you’re in a sour mood, let the people you interact with know the reason.  It makes you appear vulnerable.  After all, you’re human and can have a bad day once in a while.  Just don’t let it get in the way of being a great manager.

I just finished reading a great book about mastery and what it takes to achieve it in your field.  The information was quite relevant to developing your leadership skills and becoming the leader you strive to be.   We’ve become so accustomed to quick fixes that we sometimes forget that real change and improvement takes time and effort.  Society constantly reminds us of what we don’t have and advertisements prey on our fears of falling behind in society if we don’t buy certain products.  When it comes to mastery in any area, it’s going to take time, effort, and discipline.

In his book, Mastery:  The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment, George Leonard says there are “five keys” to the journey to become a master.  I want to share these keys with you and tie them to how you can use this information to become a better leader.

Becoming a Master Leader

1)      Instruction:  Find a mentor who possesses leadership skills that you lack and would like to develop.  This person can be someone in your organization or outside of your organization.  You can also choose to pay for the services of a leadership coach to help you, but you want to make sure to meet with the person first to find out whether or not they’re a good match to work with you.

2)      Practice:  It’s going to take a lot of good old-fashioned practice for you to improve your leadership skills.  Set short-term and long-term goals for yourself.  Incorporate practice into your daily or weekly routine.  Focus on what you’re going to do each day to improve your skills. Have difficult conversations that you’ve been putting off.  Listen when you’d prefer to be speaking.  Make courageous moves.  Empower employees to move forward with their own ideas with minimal supervision.

3)      Surrender:  You have to surrender your old thoughts and actions in order to learn new skills.  This doesn’t mean you’ll give up all of your old beliefs, since they are a large part of who you are, but you will want to work through any limiting thoughts or beliefs that hold you back.  Sometimes, you’ll have to take steps back in order to move forward and that’s okay.  Analyze any thoughts or actions that currently stand in your way and take the time to understand them.  Only then can you move away from them and embrace learning new skills.

4)     Intentionality:  Having the intention to do something and seeing it in your mind will give you more power to achieve it.  Think about becoming the leader you strive to be.  Before the day begins, visualize specific actions you’ll take that day to reach your goals.

5)     The Edge: Once you feel as if you’ve become the ideal leader, you should continue learning and still push yourself to improve.  Leadership is not a final destination; leadership is a continuous journey.

After putting in weeks or months of preparation, you feel ready to give a great presentation.  Nothing could possibly go wrong.  And then it does go wrong.  It falls flat.  It doesn’t reach the goals you were intending.  You don’t do the best you could.  Whatever the reason for the miss, you decide to give up on presentations.

You may be disappointed by your presentation.  You may feel as if you never want to give another presentation again.  You may feel as if you don’t want to face those people ever again.

Just as with any new endeavor you take in life, there is a possibility that things won’t go as well as you expected and that you will be disappointed.  Should you give up?  Absolutely not.

After a bad experience, many of us want to forget it ever happened and move on.  Or we promise ourselves that we will never give another presentation again.  Or we label ourselves as a bad speaker and decide to live with that label.  Or we label our audience as being too stupid to understand us.

None of these tactics will help you improve.  They will push you down and keep you from moving forward.  After all, it’s a lot easier to stay where you’re at than admit that you have the potential to do better.  It may feel safer in the short-term, but it’s actually dangerous because it’s keeping you stuck where you’re at with no hope for improvement.

First of all, you should congratulate yourself for going out there and making the effort.  Then, if you are feeling emotional or down, give yourself a few days to calm down.  Don’t think about the presentation during this time if possible.  Don’t beat yourself up.  If you want to feel sorry for yourself during this time, that’s okay too.

After giving yourself a few days to calm down, stop feeling sorry for yourself.  Analyze your presentation objectively and write down specifically what went well and what didn’t go so well.  Ask someone who was in the audience for feedback.  Now, ask yourself what you will do for the next presentation to make it better.  Write down concrete goals that you will take action on between now and your next presentation.

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat,” said F. Scott Fitzgerald.  Giving up is a choice; if you choose to give up, it will be a final defeat.  How will you choose to handle disappointment?