My Leadership Solutions

lead·er·ship: not only for those with a fancy title. High doses can lead to success. Side effects include courage and confidence

What should I do if I’m being harassed at work?

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I received this question from a male manager who didn’t know who else to turn to for advice.  In all my years in HR, I’ve rarely had a sexual harassment report from a man, so it made me wonder if men are suffering in silence.  That said, many women also don’t take action after being harassed at work.  Regardless of your gender, you should take action.  This manager said that I could share his problem here.

Male Sexual Harassment

Thank you for bringing up this question.  I understand why you didn’t take action in the beginning, but it seems as if you ignoring the problem indicated to her that her behavior was okay.  Now you know that you can’t just hope the issue will go away. You must deal with it directly.

You can go speak to HR anytime, but since you haven’t talked to the employee about it yet, I would recommend that you have a conversation with her as a first step.  Prepare a list of specific incidences to discuss with her (the more recent the better).

If you try to play it off as a joke, she may think that you’re amused by her antics.  Tell her that her comments and actions make you and others feel uncomfortable and that they also make her appear less professional to you and others.  During the meeting, be firm but kind with her.  Since you haven’t said anything to her until now, she may feel surprised and embarrassed.  Let her know that you value her as an employee (if it’s true), but that if this behavior continues, you’ll have to report it to Human Resources.  Document the conversation in writing.

If she continues to display inappropriate behavior or make sexual comments, address the issue in the moment or shortly after by firmly saying something to the effect of, “That is not appropriate.  Please do not make that type of comment.”

Then stick to your word and report it to your manager and Human Resources.  If you don’t do anything about it, one of your employees may be bothered by it or perceive her as getting better treatment because of her interactions with you.  This could cause the employee to report it to Human Resources.  It will cast you in a bad light, because you have allowed the behavior to continue.

I know it’s a tough situation, but you are doing the right thing by taking action.  Good luck!

Workplace Favoritism: I’m Sick of Being the Manager’s Pet

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I’ve commonly hear from people who have experienced the negative effects of workplace favoritism by not being favored by the manager, but recently I received a question from someone who is experiencing the negative effects of being favored by the manager.

Manager's Pet2I appreciate you bringing up this question, because I’m sure many readers as well as your own team members don’t realize how the person receiving preferential treatment may feel.

You’re in a difficult position because you don’t want to make your manager angry at you, but you also want to feel part of a team with your co-workers.

Your co-workers probably are not angry at you, but are angry at the treatment you are getting.  They also may assume that you’re doing something to get the special treatment from the manager, such as spying on them and reporting everything back to your manager.

Start by confronting the behavior of your co-workers.  When they roll their eyes when you ask for help, ask questions to get clarification without acting hostile.  For example, you can ask “What’s wrong?  Are you too busy or am I getting you at a bad time?  Is there anything I can do to help you out to make it easier for you to help me with XYZ?”  If this approach doesn’t work, set aside time to have individual conversations with your co-workers to discuss the problem.  Chances are that each person has their own individual view of the situation and their own perception of you, so it’s better to talk to each person individually to understand their take on the situation.

Now, you still haven’t tackled the problem of how the manager treats you.  If you tell your manager to start treating you worse so that other employees don’t get the wrong idea, it may cause your manager to get defensive and deny treating you differently.  A better approach is to subtly help your manager treat everyone better.  When your manager asks you to be in charge, suggest that different employees be put in charge in order to help strengthen their skills.  Recommend someone else for the responsibility.  Give credit for team members’ ideas and accomplishments during meetings so your manager will see that you’re not a one-man or one-woman show.  Encourage other employees to have one-on-ones with your manager in order to get to know him or her better and also to talk about their career goals.

Don’t stop being a top performer.  It may be the easy way out to start slacking off so you don’t get the preferential treatment, but it could ruin your good reputation and possibly your career at the company.  You also don’t want to get so bogged down with your co-workers’ and manager’s treatment of you that you forget to focus on your own career goals.  Know what your goals are and continue to work toward them.

 

I Don’t Want To Be A Manager Anymore. How Do I Tell My Boss?

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I received this question from a manager who doesn’t want to be a manager anymore.

 

 

 

First of all, don’t beat yourself up for it.  It’s okay to try out a role and realize that it’s not for you.  Start by making a list of the specific reasons that you want out of the role so that you can gather your thoughts and be able to have an effective conversation with you manager.  It’s not a good idea to say that you’re sick of your role because you have to do too much work or that you have to manage a bunch of morons.

Ask yourself:  Why don’t I want to be a manager?

Is there anything that could be changed in this role to make you continue being a manager?   Are you not getting the support or resources you need?  Are you not getting the training you need?  Or is it just that you don’t want to manage people and would prefer to be an individual contributor?

Then write down your goals.  Do your goals align better with staying in the role you’re in or moving into a different role?  If you would prefer to do the work yourself than manage other people, then you’re probably better cut out for the individual contributor role.  However, if you feel that the manager role does align with your goals and that you’re not getting the right resources, make a note of what you need so that you’ll be prepared to talk to your manager about it.

Talk to your manager and be candid.  Express how appreciative you are to have received the chance to be a manager.  Then give concrete reasons why you want to move into a different role.  If you found that you’re not getting enough support or training or XYZ to be in the manager role, tell your manager what you need in order to be successful in this role.

If you found that you’d prefer to be in a different role, let him or her know that you will stay in the position until they can find a new manager and that you’ll help transition the work to the new manager.  Since you were valuable enough to be promoted to a manager position, it’s likely they’ll let you want to keep you.  However, you should still be prepared for the worst-case scenario, which is that they’ve already hired someone to take your previous position and they don’t have a budget for another position.  If that happens, you’ll have to decide whether to stay in the manager position or leave the company.  If you decide to stay in the role and your manager knows you want to leave, make sure to have a list of development ideas to help you in your role.

Good luck!

Poor Manager Communication Costs Companies

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If your managers are not communicating effectively with their employees, it may be costing your company more than you think. 

In the Gallup 2013 State of the American Workplace Report, Gallup CEO, Jim Clifton, said that choosing the managers is the most important thing that companies do (Gallup, 2013).  Poor management can affect an employee’s level of engagement in the job.  The report shows that unfortunately, 20% of workers are actively disengaged and 50% are not engaged, which can cost the company millions of dollars in lost productivity, healthcare costs, turnover, poor customer service and mistakes.

So what does communication have to do with it?

Poor communication from managers can lead to employee disengagement.  Effective communication is not just about how often the manager talks to employees or how nice he or she is to them during conversations.  It’s about having the right types of conversations.

The right types of conversations include conversations around the employee’s strengths and talents and how the employee can use those talents on the job.

Managers should be giving performance feedback that is timely, consistent, specific, and relevant.  These conversations should be in-depth and should occur on a frequent basis.  Don’t just give feedback on areas that the employee should improve, but also recognize an employee’s positive performance. Show appreciation when someone does an exceptional job. It doesn’t take a lot of time on your part, but it means a lot to employees when you show them that their hard work is being recognized.

Managers should communicate to employees about what is expected of them and how they measure against those expectations.  If there are areas that they need to develop, help them come up with ideas or a plan for developing in those areas.

As noted in the Leadership and Listening Series article, Really Listen to Your Employees, communication isn’t just about talking; listening is a key part of effective communication for leaders.  As a manager, you should be asking for and listening to employees’ ideas as well as listening to employees’ career goals and helping them meet those goals.  Employees should feel valued to be part of the organization and feel as if their contributions are making a difference.

Using communication to empower employees to do their jobs requires effort, but the results are worth it.  According to the Gallup Survey, engaged employees come up with the most innovative ideas, bring in more customers, have higher productivity, and produce higher quality work (Gallup, 2013).