My Leadership Solutions

lead·er·ship: not only for those with a fancy title. High doses can lead to success. Side effects include courage and confidence

Leadership and Listening Part 2: Stop Faking and Really Listen

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Are you faking?  Fake listening, that is.  It happens more than we’d like to admit.  Think back to the people who talked to you today.  How many times did you tune them out, multi-task while they were speaking, or think about something else entirely?

We’re bombarded with so many messages on a daily basis that we’ve come to figure out ways to tune out all the noise.  By becoming so adept at tuning out messages, we may have shortened our patience and attention span for the important messages.  Truly listening and understanding someone’s needs takes time.  It takes effort to schedule the conversation, be fully present when having the conversation, and really listen to what the person is saying.

By fake listening, you may hear the person’s words, but you miss the tone or emotion behind the words.  You miss the opportunity to ask questions to delve deeper into what the person is saying.  People notice when you’re not really listening to them.  Think back to the last time you were talking to someone and senses that they weren’t really listening.  How did it make you feel?

If you get actual face-to-face time with a person, take advantage of it by being fully engaged in the conversation.  It’ll help you build the relationship.

Business moves fast.  Technology moves fast.  People move fast.  You may be thinking, “It costs me too much time to sit down and listen.  I just want to get the message and move on.”

Instead of thinking it’ll cost you too much time to listen, think about what it’s costing you to not listen.  What’s it costing in terms of valuable relationships with co-workers, employees, and clients?  What’s it costing your company in terms of mistakes, misunderstanding, and inefficiencies?

Most people can’t afford to not listen.  It’s a valuable tool that you can have at your disposal, if you’re willing to take the time and put in the effort.

 

I’ll be posting a series of listening articles.  Stay tuned!

 

 

Leadership and Listening Part 1: Why Should You Listen?

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Why listen when you can talk instead?  After all, isn’t talking the way that you get your point across and you get noticed?

Actually, it’s going to save you time and effort if you listen before you talk.  People want to know how you can help them meet their needs.  By listening to them, you’re increasing the chances that what you’re saying is worthwhile to your audience.

No matter what your position, real listening is a leadership quality that you can benefit from in your work and personal life.  Many of us are good at pretending to listen.  We continue to work on our computer while our co-worker is talking to us.  We think about our own pitch while the client is talking about his or her needs.  We’re busy preparing a response to an e-mail while we’re on the phone with someone.   It’s easy to come up with an excuse for not listening such as “ I don’t have enough time.”  However, not listening can actually be costing you time, efficiency, productivity, relationships, and ultimately, MONEY.

Real listening isn’t easy, especially if you’re accustomed to pretend listening.  But it’s well-worth it to develop this skill.

Advantages of Real Listening:

  • Improves relationships
  • Increases trust
  • Helps you better address client needs
  • Saves time
  • Allows you to provide better service no matter what your industry
  • Better collaboration with your team
  • Reduces mistakes due to misunderstanding
  • Increases results
  • Increase sales

Some of my favorite tips for Real Listening:

  • Choose a time and place that allows you to really listen.  If it’s a private conversation, don’t have it in the sea of cubicles or in a place where you can be easily interrupted.
  • Give the person your full attention.  Put down your phone.  Turn away from your computer.
  • Use body language to show the person that you’re engaged in the conversation.  Turn your body toward the person.  Make eye contact.  Nod to acknowledge what the person is saying.
  • Paraphrase what was said to show understanding.  Showing understanding doesn’t necessarily imply agreement.  You can fully listen and show understanding without agreeing with what was said.
  • Don’t jump in immediately when the person pauses.  Certain personalities need more time to think about how to articulate their thoughts and ideas.

Listening, just like any skill, requires practice.  You’ll see gradual changes as you get better at it.  So go out there and listen!

I’ll be posting a series of listening articles.  Stay tuned!